Andrew found a play online where
SURGE is one of the main focuses. Finally, some theatre I can relate
to! Below is a transcript:
Oh
my gosh, It's huge
It's green!
It's SURGE!!!
Surge: The Musical
Scene 1: The discovery
Adam: Why of course I've seen the commercials for that soda, Kristen.
Feed the Rush and all those other clever slogans…
Kristen: (handing him the soda) Yes, but have you ever…tried
SURGE, Adam?
Adam: Oh, no, I couldn't…my mom might not approve…and
I have heard what it can DO to people…
Kristen: I drink it all the time and look at me…come
on Adam…(breaking into song)
Just one sip
One sip won't kill ya
Just one Sip
And it will thrill ya
I promise that when
You take some in
You'll feel like a million bucks
Drink…the SURGE!
Just one sip
Oh, the wide mouth can
Just one sip
Makes you mare than a man
I promise that when
You're cravings begin
You can never get enough
Drink…the…chug…the…down that SURGE!
Adam: Alright…just one sip I suppose can't cause any
harm…I mean, you've got 4 12-packs and plenty to share, so…(gulp)
Kristen: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Disappears in a cloud of green
smoke)
Scene 2: The addiction
Will: So, Adam, do you want to go bowling?
Adam: No. EXTREME Bowling!
Will: Okay…you don't have to yell, we'll do extreme.
Hmm, how are we going to get there?
Adam: Call the Carubias. I'm sure that we can sucker Melissa
into driving again.
Will: Oh…okay. You call then. (Adam dials phone)
Adam: Hi, Jason? Oh, sorry Mrs. Carubia. Is Jason there?
Thanks…Hi Jason…yeah, extreme bowling. Will, you, Kevin,
and I…can your sister drive us? (holds the phone away from
ear) Yes? Good. But we'll need provisions first…bye. (hangs
up)
Will: Provisions?
Adam: Will, have you ever had SURGE?
Will: SURGE? What's that?
Adam: (in a trance) It's a fully loaded citrus soda packed
with carbos. Try it, it's good. Feed the Rush! (snaps out of it)
Will: Okay…
Adam: No, I can explain it better…(begins to sing)
When I had that first drink,
It made me think, "how could something so wrong be so right?"
But the caffeine is high
And now so am I
SURGE makes me feel out of sight
You wake up at 2
Feel it coursing through you
And you scream SURGE!!! Excessively loud
But during the day
There's no work, it's all play
Why don't you join in the crowd?
Will: Adam? Have you gone crazy?
Adam: Yes. Crazy for SURGE!
Scene 3: Driving to
Extreme Bowling (Melissa's Car)
Adam: Hey guys, we're out of SURGE.
Will: There was a whole 12-pack, where did it all go?
Jason: Adam, How many have you had?
Adam: I don't know, but my teeth hurt. Let's go to CVS
and restock. What's Extreme Bowling without SURGE??
Scene 4: CVS Pharmacy
(Jason, Kevin and Adam sprint for the cooler, Melissa wanders
into the Easter isle, Will goes into the Shoebox card area.)
Kevin: SURGE!!
Adam: Feed the rush!
Jason: To the extreme!
(they emerge down the isle bearing a large crate of SURGE)
Employee: Please don't run in the store. (they ignore her)
Melissa: Hey, guys, Peeps! And they're 60% off!
Jason: Cheap Peeps. Cool. Buy a 3-pack.
Adam: (grabbing a 3-pack) Okay, I've got the tab. (Melissa,
Jason, Will, and Kevin go to the magazine section).
Kevin: Hey, check it out! "Hitler's alive and well
at 109"…
Jason: "I'm having big foot's baby…?"
Will: Wait, "concrete evidence of God"? (They
become deeply engrossed) (Adam has checked out, walks out of store
alone)
Will: Where's he going?
Melissa: I'll follow him…(she walks outside)
Melissa: (entering) He's gone!
Kevin: What do you mean, gone?
Melissa: The usual meaning of the word…I can't find
him anywhere.
Will: We'll have to look for him eventually. (Melissa,
Jason and Kevin give him a look) Okay, right now. (They all exit)
Scene 5: The streets
of Guilford
Kevin: Which way do you think he went?
Jason: Uh…uh…I dunno.
Will: Eww…an empty SURGE can!
Melissa: Hey wait a minute here's another one!
Kevin: Look, they make a trail…it must be Adam!
Melissa: Follow those SURGE cans! (they follow the cans
and run into a random pedestrian)
Jason: Excuse me, but have you seen a teenage boy carrying
a large box of soda pass by this way?
Pedestrian: Yes, I saw him alright. He was running and
screaming "SPLURGE" or "DURGE" or something,
and he practically knocked me over.
Jason: Do you know which way he went?
Ped.: He was headed to the Bradley's Plaza, I think…
Will: The Bradley's Plaza, oh no! Big Y!
Kevin: We've got to get there soon, or else he'll…he'll…what's
he gonna do?
Melissa: Big Y is the only place in town that they sell
3 liter bottles…of SURGE…if he gets a hold of one of
those, who knows what will happen…
Will: I knew this SURGE would come to no good…
I don't like to say I always know,
But, hey, you guys, I told you so
Too much of a good thing is always bad
So lots of a bad thing is almost mad
And now we are in quite a fix
This wild SURGE chase is the pits
Adam's become a crazy dolt
This soda is worse for you than JOLT
But I'll continue on this chase
Although at times I'll hide my face
Because I want to help my friend
And bring this crisis to an end
Scene 6: Big Y Supermarket
(they all run to the soda isle)
Jason: Where is he?
Melissa: (by the SURGE) He's not he- (Adam jumps out of
the SURGE boxes)
Adam: SURGE!!!
Melissa and Will: AHH!!!! (Jason and Kevin grab him)
Kevin: Adam, what are you doing?
Adam: SURGE?
Will: You don't make sense, speak English!
Adam: SURGE!
Melissa: Wait, I think we're going to have to translate…
Adam: (saying SURGE over and over)
Melissa: I can't stop…
Adam: SURGE, SURGE…
Melissa: …drinking…
Adam: SURGE!!!
Melissa: wait, I didn't get that last part…
Adam: SURGE!!!
Jason: I think he said SURGE.
Melissa: I knew that. Hmm…you can't stop drinking
SURGE, you say? (Adam nods)
Kevin: So, what do you want us to do?
Adam: SURGE…SURGE, SURGE, SURGE…SURGE!
Melissa: Give you…something to counteract it? What
would counteract SURGE?
Adam: (in the tone of "I don't know") SURGE SURGE
SURGE…
Will: Wait, Melissa, did you say that Milk and SURGE curdle?
Melissa: Yeah, they form a precipitate…
Will: Which leaves what behind?
Melissa: solid SURGE cheese and water…hey, that would
take it out of his system!
Will: Exactly! Adam, I know it sounds gross, but…you're
going to have to drink milk to cure this addiction…
Adam: (covering his mouth, muffled) SURGE!
Kevin: I'll go buy the milk…you can get him to the
car…
Scene 7: The Carubia's House
(Adam is strapped down to a couch. Melissa, Kevin, Will and Jason
are dressed in doctors' scrubs)
Will: Forceps…
Jason: forceps…
Will: gauze…
Jason: Gauze…
Will: Pretzel…
Jason: Pretzel…pretzel?
Will: Never mind. Where's the milk? (Kevin fills a small
syringe with milk and hands it to Melissa)
Melissa: Okay, you guys, hold him down…Adam, this
may hurt a little…actually, it won't. It's only milk.
Adam: Mmmmpf! (she squirts the milk in his mouth, he begins
to squirm, then stops)
Will: (taking pulse) He's normal…he's saved.
Adam: (sitting up) What happened? Where am I? Why am I
strapped to this couch?
Kevin: You drank too much SURGE and had some sort of overdose…
Jason: You were ranting and raving and screaming and running
around like an idiot…
Will: But besides that, you weren't yourself at all…
(Adam gives Will a look)
Melissa: But you're better now, and that's what's important.
So, what have you learned from this little episode?
Adam: I don't remember anything. What are you talking about?
Hmm, has anyone tried that new soda, SURGE? It sounds good.
