"Economics 101 - the SURGE Way!"
In my second year at university, I found myself in dire straits (no, I hadn't joined the seminal 80's band). Broke as a joke, I survived on 99-cent-per-pack Worth cigarettes from the Kwik Star, 5-for-$1 ramen noodles, and stale imitation Stove Top stuffing from the bakery thrift shop down the road. The occasional Taco Bell bean burrito was equivalent to a 4-course meal at a 5-star restaurant. Soda was an intangible luxury. Life seemed utterly hopeless and bleak.
Then along came a happy green surprise. Money, you ask? Drugs? Nope - it was SURGE.
When coupons for free SURGE arrived in the mail, accompanied by a pair of free CDs featuring some pretty rank music, I was nonplussed. "I am not drinking that crap," I stoically declared, "If the soda is anything like the CD, it must totally suck!" Oh, how very, very wrong a girl can be.
Later that week, on a trip to the local supermarket to graze at the sample booths, I received an object lesson in judgement.
I was in desperate need of something to wash down the horrible taste of cardboard from the frozen pizza sample I had just consumed. The store's water fountain was out of order, and I had only enough cash for a fiver of ramen. I was contemplating drinking from the bathroom faucet, when I turned a corner and was halted by a gentleman in green serving samples of SURGE. Hesitantly, I took the semi-opaque Dixie cup that was offered me and held it to my nose. "Smells like Mountain Dew," I sniffed. "Oh, this is way better than the Dew, dude," replied the sample-giver. "Try it." So I did.
One taste of SURGE and I was hooked. It was cheap. It was caffeinated. It shone in the light like a liquid emerald. That night, my meager dinner of ramen was made spectacular by the sweet addition of a bottle of the good stuff - not wine, silly - SURGE!
As part of the ad campaign, the retail giant I worked for began offering it at ridiculously low prices - 25 cents a bottle (+deposit)! I was in heaven, for at last I could partake of the beverages of the privileged, saved from the hapless hell of tapwater poverty by sweet citrusy salvation. Suddenly, my limited income didn't seem so limited anymore. The American miracle of soda had been made available to me at last - and not that offbrand swill either! SURGE not only tasted good and looked cool in a clear glass; most importantly, it provided the fuel I required to endure all-day Super Nintendo battles or all-night cram sessions. I scoured the couch, I rolled my passed-out compatriots, I plucked up every shining penny in the street - anything to continue to feed the rush.
Gradually, as the promotional period slowed, the price of SURGE increased. But in the wake of the madness that defined the early days of SURGE, I had discovered new and creative ways of saving money, which effectively funded not only my indomitable SURGE habit, but actual food and decent smokes to boot! Like a giant helping hand emitted from the power ring of the mighty Green Lantern, SURGE lifted an impoverished wretch back to her feet. The bottle deposits alone kept me from opening a vein at the plasma donation center or sliding down a pole at the local strip club. For that, I will be eternally grateful.
We, the lovers of SURGE, must band together and send a message to the barons of Coca-cola. They must be made to see the error of their ways and return our beloved beverage to us...a beverage far superior to the somewhat-whiskey-themed bitterness of Vanilla Coke. Thank you SAVESURGE.org for giving us this forum and allowing our voices be heard - true democracy begins with grassroots movements such as this. Let us join in solidarity to save SURGE! Future generations will thank us!
- Alexis Hidell
